


Some Demons Just Want to Eat in Peace

by QuagmireMarch



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, First Meeting, M/M, Not-So-Oblivious Heartbreaker Katsuki Yuuri, Phichit Chulanont Is a Good Friend, Phichit Chulanont is a Little Shit, Supernatural Elements, silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:27:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuagmireMarch/pseuds/QuagmireMarch
Summary: Yuuri Katsuki found out when he was eighteen that he was an incubus. Yay for generational family curses. He has since spent an inordinate amount of effort making himself as invisible as possible so that he doesn't feel responsible for the medical bills of people walking into walls. And to avoid the embarrassment of people flirting at him. Yuuri doesn't flirt, doesn't know *how* to flirt, doesn't know what to do when other people flirt at him. It's humiliating. But, when Phichit gets them invited to a week-long charity event where he has to live with a bunch of other skaters, his efforts to go unnoticed get a lot more difficult. Especially with Victor Nikiforov around.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 51
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Solnyshko_UK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solnyshko_UK/gifts).



> This fic is entirely Solnyshko_UK's fault. 
> 
> This bit is really just scene setting and a taste of what is to come, but I wanted to post *something* before I forgot how.
> 
> Also, I have been a bit under the weather lately so not writing as much or as well as usual. Rest assured if you follow my other fics that all things will be updated soon.

Yuuri slid his glasses in place as he considered his reflection. With his hair in his face and two layers of baggy clothes, he figured he looked unremarkable enough to go out safely. Honestly, he _always_ felt that way. The rather extreme reactions he’d sometimes gotten from people never made much sense to him.

At least not until his eighteenth birthday when his parents took him aside and explained the big family secret. For reasons lost to time, every five or six generations the Katsuki family produced an incubus. Born human, with their powers gradually growing as they grew up and reached the age of twenty-one.   
  
Yuuri drew the short straw.

At least now, at twenty-three, he knew it’d stopped getting worse. And really, he _liked_ over-sized clothes, so it wasn’t too bit a deal. His skating costumes sometimes caused nosebleeds or people walked into walls, but mostly he kept jackets on until the last minute and nothing too weird happened.

Just as long as he didn’t get drunk. Then he lost clothes and things went haywire. Phichit loved it. He’d posted a whole compilation of people walking into things while staring. It went viral. Phichit thinks it’s because Yuuri’s adorable. Yuuri doesn’t have the heart to break the whole actually a demon thing to his best friend.

Or perhaps that was just self-preservation. Phichit, much as Yuuri loved him, was genuinely evil sometimes. Especially when it came to providing for his hamster children. Yuuri had no desire to be forced to Petsmart in bondage gear just to get his roommate the employee’s discount on hamster wheels.

Regardless, right now he needed to find food and Celestino, not necessarily in that order. He still didn’t quite understand how he’d been selected as one of twelve men’s skaters to be part of this event. The ISU only nominally endorsed it and none of his sponsors were part of the funding. Hopefully his coach had answers.

Fortunately for Yuuri, Celestino, Phichit, and answers all waited in the hotel restaurant, food already ordered and waiting. Sliding gratefully into the seat next to a steaming cup of tea and Cobb salad, Yuuri smiled tentatively at his seatmates. “Sorry I’m late.”

“No worries.” Celestino smiled and raised his cup—mug, really, of beer—in Yuuri’s direction. “Now, that you’re here though, I’ll start the explanation. Basically,” he glanced at Phichit. “This is all his fault.”

Yuuri blinked and then looked over at Phichit. He raised one eyebrow in question, expression unamused, and waited.

The younger man just grinned unrepentant. “So, remember that poll on most popular skaters on-line?”

“Not really, no.” Yuuri sipped his tea. “You know I don’t pay attention to that stuff.”

Rolling his eyes, Phichit pulled something up on his phone. “This one.” He gestured to a ranking of skaters. Yuuri saw his own name there in sixth place. “I campaigned pretty hard for us since I knew you wouldn’t bother, and it’s linked by the ISU so I thought-’Hey, sponsors might like this.”--and they do! All of the top ten get a sponsorship deal with, um...some car people, I think? Anyway, this trip is part of that. We get to hang with other skaters, do charity stuff, and be paid to take photos!”

Celestino sighed. “For one week, starting tomorrow, you will be staying in a cabin with the rest of the skaters. I believe you will be paired off to go on various outings to do community service, though the details on that will be given by the co-coordinators tomorrow. The last day is a banquet and charity auction.”

“What’s being auctioned?” Yuuri asked the question innocently enough, curious whether it’d be skating merchandise or donated items. He’d seen both in the past. But, the look Celestino gave him, almost hunted before turning his attention fully to the bottom of his beer, sent a shiver of anxiety down Yuuri’s spine.

Phichit felt no such unease. He just beamed and squeezed into Yuuri’s side of a selfie. “Don’t worry bestie! I packed the perfect outfit for when you’re on the auction block. You’re going to knock them dead!”

Yuuri swallowed hard. “That’s not what I’m worried about,” he muttered softly.

  
If Phichit heard, he gave no response, just took a dozen more pictures and kept right on smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more world-building and general torturing of Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AnxietyAvocado got to pick what I worked on next, so if you are happy to see this, that's who you have to thank.

They got to the cabin at eight in the morning, and the briefing they’d been promised began at nine. In the interim Phichit and Yuuri got to look around and meet the other eight skaters they’d be living with for the next week. A list, Yuuri had not failed to notice, included Victor Nikiforov.

He’d wanted to meet his idol on the ice, having proven himself worthy. Not here, trapped in the same space where, not incidentally, people expected him to wear decent clothes that actually fit for photographs.

  
Yuuri was _not_ ready to be around some of the best skaters in the world—especially not Victor—without at least three layers and time to get his hair properly in his face. But, hey, maybe it’d be okay? They’d have to do photo shoots, but surely most of the time Yuuri’d be properly prepared and most of the others wouldn’t even notice him.

After all, without the whole demon curse thing, why would they?

He made it exactly eighteen seconds before Christophe Giacometti showed up to ruin everything.

“Yuuri!” Chris, dressed in the smallest speedo ever made, pounced and threw his arms around him. “We’re trying out the indoor pool. You have to come!”

Phichit squealed. “There’s a pool! Yuuri! There’s a _pool_.”

“And an ice rink.” Yuuri disentangled himself from Chris. “I know. It’s in the paperwork Ciao Ciao gave us.” The sponsors called the dwelling a cabin, and that applied well enough to the main building, if most cabins came with six bedrooms, four bathrooms, and a gym and dance studio in the basement. But the place also had three other connected...facilities. One housed the aforementioned pool as well as a four person sauna and ten person hot tub. The second was the ice rink. Not quite Olympic-sized, but large enough for three or four of them to practice at once. The last building was a banquet hall where the auction would be held, as well as the briefing and whatever other group meetings were needed. It also had a small computer lab, media center, and gaming room.

Yuuri kind of wanted to both live here forever and leave as soon as humanly possible.

“So,” Chris wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s shoulders from behind, breath hot on his neck. Still better than his hands on Yuuri’s ass. “You and Peaches will join us then?”

“Peaches?” Yuuri once again shrugged Chris off and hugged his duffle to his chest as a shield.

Phichit beamed. “We’re Insta friends. We have to go, Yuuri. It would be _rude_ to blow everyone off.”

God damn it. Phitchit _knew_ the barest hint of rudeness had Yuuri envisioning his mother, disappointed and sad. A look that never failed to force Yuuri past anxiety and straight into trouble. At least when it involved Phichit.

  
Not this time. He needed time. Or an escape route. Maybe a fifth of whiskey. Something. Anything to make the mere idea of facing Victor Nikiforov— _in a bathing suit—_ something other than heart-stoppingly terrifying.

“I..um...I didn’t think to pack a suit, so--”  
  
“No worries, mon ami!” Chris grinned like a shark. “Apparently one of the photo shoots is going to be a swimsuit thing, so the sponsors provided for all of us.”

Shit. _Shit._ Yuuri never, ever agreed to shoots like that. Or really photo shoots or ads at all unless they involved heavy winter coats or skates where he only got shot from the ankles down. This was going to be a _nightmare_.

But, that was later’s problem. Right now Yuuri needed to get out of swimming with Chris and Phichit and _Victor—_ unless Victor wasn’t here yet. That was possible, right?

“Oh. But, well, we have to put our stuff away, pick a room. Maybe later?”

“Rooms are already assigned. Names are on the doors.” Chris nudged Yuuri forward by pressing firmly on his butt and squeezing. Hard. “Go, put your suitcases away, change and meet the rest of us at the pool.”

Jumping away from Chris, Yuuri gathered his suitcase and scurried into the cabin proper. Nice and rustic with the expected wood floors and walls, leather furniture in a warm brown and a cozy little fire gave the rather enormous space a lived-in feel. Open-plan, the kitchen had some clean white cabinetry against gray stone counters. Lots of counter space and stainless steel appliances. A good place to cook. And hide.

The rooms were said to all be roughly the same size, so Yuuri focused on the little wood signs hanging off the doors, each etched with two names. He silently begged the universe he’d been placed with Phichit. His best friend had long gotten past staring and drooling, if he’d ever started. Yuuri suspected Phichit, for all his exclaiming about Yuuri’s physical virtues, was, in fact, very much straight. Not that that stopped most people from the whole staring and stammering thing when Yuuri forgot to be careful.

Of course, the universe _hated_ Yuuri, and he knew that, so it barely even surprised him when he got to the door at the end of the hall and say a sign that said ‘Yuuri Katsuki and Victor Nikiforov’. Because of course it did.

Yuuri sighed and banged his head against the door twice before opening it and dragging himself inside. Only to look up and see a completely naked Victor Nikiforov standing in the middle of the room holding a swimsuit in each hand.

“Oh!” He blinked at Yuuri and smiled. “Yuuri, great!” He thrust out his arms, the suits—one a blue speedo and the other trunks in pale dove gray with a subtle pinstripe pattern—swinging at the ends of his fingers. “Which one do you think I should wear? I can’t decide.”

Eyes desperately locked on Victor’s face so they couldn’t stray down, Yuuri had no words. Not a single one. So, with a squeak he pointed to the gray shorts.

“Hmm,” Victor examined the suit and then nodded. “Grey it is. Hurry up and change! We can walk to the pool together.”  
  
Closing his eyes, Yuuri nodded, or at least moved his head in a way that could be construed as a nod. Then he walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and quietly hyperventilated for the next five minutes.

He’d never make it through this week. Hell, Yuuri figured he’d be dead by dinner time at this rate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Can Yuuri get out of wearing a swimsuit? Will anyone drown? Find out soon!


End file.
